Napoleonic Dream (the Poem I wrote for my first batch of Bedan students)

The first meeting was a tug of war
two conflicting thoughts,
of priorities and direction;
Till the pandemonium broke in
a buffet of treasure was opened
to gaze on its illuminating rays,
of sunshine and hope
that dispel despair.

It rolled, the height of rapture,
and the deafening silence of defeat
only to be awakened and jolted
to declare that direction needs fine tuning

The first meeting was prophetic
and the king maker planned of surrendering
from the battalion of soldiers
who may be rearing to fight an uncharted battles

To declare the barren desert
and the vicious jungle the territory
of inspired and enlightened combatants

And the last meeting signaled
the beginning of an unknown battle
of Trojan horses whose identity remain covered
and the king maker sits in his throne;
unmindful of what happens in the battlefield
for he has already done his share of making kings.

When efforts are written in the sandy pavement,
where not even camels of proven tenacity could bear,
A king maker needs another battalion
of combatants who will follow a war plan
that will catapult the kingdom to victory

And the trumpet from the pinnacle of hope
dies down.... anticipating
that more bloody battles would be won
in an arena of hopeful soldiers whose
faces are covered with blankets of seeming desire
to just carry an empty weapon.

This is the combatant's last claim to victory
with success not be subjected to a Russian roulette
of hope and dreams sold and burned
to plain luck; fatalism.

As the king closes his doors, he opens
a window to see how the rays of the
sun brings hope to the combatants
he once loved and shared dreams
of great magnitude


**************

Postscript

I remember writing this poem few weeks before the graduation of the first batch of students I handled at San Beda College. I could say that I really mentored this batch because they showed enthusiasm and great interest in my subjects. However, I got so disappointed with one of their final papers, and I admonished them. Sensing that I couldn't be mean, and too afraid that expletives coming from me would be heard by the monks in Mendiola, I decided to just write this poem. I did not even edit or check it. I just wrote what I felt at the moment.

Silence enveloped the room after I read the poem. For ten minutes nobody spoke, until Aaron Santos asked to get a copy of the poem.

Today, these students remain my friends, and I am too glad they continue to recognize my contribution in their life (no matter how small it may be). I guess I will forever be a teacher because I find joy in molding the minds of young people.

I am forever a student of life, and I believe that while students could learn concepts, strategies, and techniques from me, I value the importance of imparting wisdom to them. I always strive to inspire, motivate, and encourage them to go the extra mile.

It is gratifying to share.

It is a joy to help build their dreams.

Pagtangis ng Propeta

Balaraw and itinarak sa kaluluwa
ng buang na henyo;
Ni hindi nasilayan ang
monumentong itinayo ng
hubad na dyosa.

Siguro , nakapikit ang mata
ng araw kaya di nasinagan ang
katawang luray sa pagtaghoy,
ng kahilingang mabigyan ng
likido ang plumang pinanday
ng poot at sigla, ng
hamog at baga.

Marahil gayon nga ang liriko
ng himig ng bwetre, pilit
na idinuduyan ang kamuwangang
di nakikita ng rayos ng umaga.

Pilit na hinahablusan ang balat
maputi, mapusyaw, may alinlangan
na di na darating ang
propeta ng walang digma;
siguro mas mahusay na magpatiwakal
at tarakan ng kampit
ang kahunghangang pinanday ng pait.

Lyrical Attempt

You said I should not follow your footsteps;
Why should I when I can't see any mark on the floor?
It's there you admonished me. You're even showing
it using that unlighted cigarette you are holding.

I am not interested about the footsteps you've created,
I simply think there is no need of tracing--following them,
for they leave nothing but watermarks to my soul

Parole

Free your mind form the chains of broken past
Swallow the cold reception of this hungry morning's mist
Drown with uncontrollable bubbles of your self-concept

Because it is the sound of the aged chains that set you free;
unwavering with the faith to dislodge the nobles
from the throne

Come and reclaim the pedestal and navigate
in the cobwebs of human frailty

Aromatherapy

Far from the brink of nervous breakdown,
the pendulum signals the rebirth of the
untested terrain.
East.
West.
North.
South.
Which direction?

For you are inside the far-fetched
jar of a burning coal.
No amount of heat could melt
your unswayed heart, for you
have become deaf from
the calling of your inner being

Soak your rested body in the
aroma of my tired limbs;
climb and fetch me from the
height of mass hysteria,
cure my body of your vagabond persona

Last Few Vignettes for 2007

I chose to end 2007 by uncluttering our "foxhole". You see, my firm, InAsia, has been running (base on the pace that I want) for almost seven years now. I have never been fulfilled despite the fact that I sometimes miss the perks given to a senior executive every Christmastime. Today, I am no longer an eager executive who would leave the country (actually to recharge) before or after the holiday hullabaloo, but an employer who must secure the 13th month pay, gifts, and bonuses of my lean staff.

I am writing this entry from my office amidst tons of papers and "to-do-list" since my team reported today for our annual office clean up. It feels good to unload (literally and figuratively) of the numerous items we accumulated all these years. And while, checking some of my old files, I came across this notebook of mine where I scribbled a couple of "literary attempts".

This year, I attended a writing workshop (Joy of Writing) conducted by Tweetums Gonzales, and while I did not finish the course ( I only attended three sessions) because of my crazy schedule, I got so interested in creative writing. I never realized that I have already accumulated some materials and I want to share them with you.

I am not an expert in writing but I certainly find joy in expressing my thoughts. I hope I make sense here.

Interviewing Tim Part One

The mute lampshade suddenly morphed into a spotlight with Pavarotti on a background in a passionate aria. The location: your living room. The audience: seven different "individuals" who have become your loyal friends these past seven years. They are all stunning, born out of gnarled, but inspired hands of great artists. They are the only ones who could tolerate your loud snoring, and moments of insanity. Their sense of smell is exposed to the sweetest red wine, a sandalwood scent, or even the foul aroma of tuyo coming from your kitchen. You love them for they are devoted to you--- your faithful audience. Tonight, they are putting you on the spot to answer some questions that they have been wanting to ask all these years.

Pavarotti stops.

Tim : Okay shoot, I am ready but would you please allow me to have my brewed coffee first? this would be a long interview right? Who would be the moderator?

Candida : I would be the moderator tonight. I guess I am the most qualified in the group because I am the most cerebral here. I attended Oxford, and that is where I met that bastard lurking in front of Pavarotti.

Mateo : Candida, will you please stop it! We are already history, and you should not get angry with me, besides it is not my fault why I left you.

Tim : Guys, we have not even started and you are already quarrelling? I will stop this interview. Rudy Giuliani is waiting for me since last week. Besides, I have several appointments tonight. I am also in a middle of knowing why Nino Mullach should move over for Sheryl Cruz. My friend Donald is too inquisitive to know the real score. I should see him next week at Fully Booked.

Candida: Oh I am sorry Tim, I just got carried away. That dirty old Mateo is really getting into my nerves. Okay, for my first question. How are you Tim?

Tim: I am good Candida. I have lots of plans this year, and I guess I would be more focused and less distracted this year.

Candida: What do you mean by that statement?

Tim: Oh, I will work to achieve one goal per quarter classified into three areas : personal, professional, and spiritual.

Arcadio : You mean you would be more religious this year?

Tim: I said spiritual not necessarily religious. I think I am not a faithful christian this year, and I want to grow spiritually next year. Maybe I need a community where I could grow as a christian. I hate discussing spiritual concerns, but I know I need this to balance my life.

Mateo: I saw you taking some supplements and medicines. I also noticed that you have been eating too much. Sometimes, I wanted to get out from here and lock your fridge.

Tim : You got me there Mateo. Yeah, I need to watch my weight and be more conscious of my health. I am scheduled to have my physical exam mid of January. Please remind me. You need not lock up my fridge just whistle from there if you think I am eating to much.

Candida: I heard that you are back at San Beda after four years of being absent from the academe. How's the experience so far?

Tim: You know teaching is my passion. I don't teach to have extra income, although my rate has increased this year courtesy of my chairman. It gives me so much joy seeing my students succeed. I guess this is a badge of honor that every teacher would wear forever. I am known to give difficult assignments, and I expect only the best from my students. They are catching up pretty fast although, it is certain that some of them will fail. Did I tell you that I am also pursuing a post graduate course at the Development Academy of the Philippines?

Candida: Great to hear that Tim. I remember my days at Oxford while you are narrating your experience at San Beda. That old Mateo got accepted at Oxford because he excelled in sports while I remain an A student.

Mateo : And because I was the most popular guy in campus, you lured me into liking you because you needed to show me off to compensate for your .... oh never mind.

Candida : Excuse me Mateo, I detest that statement. I was a campus figure even without you. And the nerve to go out with Juliet! that woman is a whore, she is known to have slept with the entire varsity team at Oxford!

Mateo: Candida, don't be bitter. I was actually very surprised that Tim got you to be here. He got me first along with Juliet, probably he saw the chemistry in us . And look at you, Tim put you near his kitchen. Are you some kind of a maid here ?

Tim: I guess this interview is going nowhere. I rather meet Giuliani and Tom Peters in my room.

George Benson took over from Pavarotti while Tom Peters started to rant. This would be a long night for Tim.

Till the next interview.